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Friday, September 20, 2013
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Scholarship Essay Samples
Content provided by EssayEdge.com.
Scholarship Essay Samples
This section
contains two sample scholarship essays:
-
Scholarship Essay One - Crabiel
-
Scholarship Essay Two - National Merit Scholar
CRABIEL SCHOLARSHIP
WINNER - won $3,000 scholarship
Like Mr. Crabiel, I
literally work tirelessly in many academic and leadership roles. I sleep no more
than six hours a night because of my desire to expertly meet my many
commitments. Throughout my life, I have worked as long and as hard as I possibly
can to effect beneficial changes in both school and society.
During the summer of
tenth grade, I took a number theory course at Johns Hopkins University with
students from Alaska, California, and Bogota, Colombia. Similarly, during the
summer following eleventh grade, I was one of ninety students from New Jersey
selected to attend the Governor's School in the Sciences at Drew University. At
Drew, I took courses in molecular orbital theory, special relativity, cognitive
psychology, and I participated in an astrophysics research project. For my
independent research project, I used a telescope to find the angular velocity of
Pluto. With the angular velocity determined, I used Einstein's field equations
and Kepler's laws to place an upper bound on the magnitude of the cosmological
constant, which describes the curvature of space and the rate of the universe's
expansion.
In addition to
learning science, I recently lectured physics classes on special relativity at
the request of my physics teacher. After lecturing one class for 45 minutes, one
student bought many books on both general and special relativity to read during
his study hall. Inspiring other students to search for knowledge kindles my own
quest to understand the world and the people around me.
As president of the
National Honor Society, I tutor students with difficulties in various subject
areas. In addition, I am ranked number one in my class with an SAT score of 1580
and SATII scores of 750 in math, 760 in writing, and 800 in physics. In school,
I take the hardest possible courses including every AP course offered at the
high school. I am the leading member of the Math Team, the Academic Team, and
the Model Congress Team. In the area of leadership, I have recently received the
Rotary Youth Leadership Award from a local rotary club, have been asked to
attend the National Youth Leadership Forum on Law and the Constitution in
Washington D.C., and wrote the winning essay on patriotism for South
Plainfield's VFW chapter. Currently enrolled in Spanish 6,I am a member of both
the Spanish Club and the Spanish Honor Society. In addition, I recently was
named a National Merit Scholar.
Besides involvement in
academic and leadership positions, I am active in athletics. For instance, I
lift weights regularly. In addition, I am the captain of my school's varsity
tennis team. So far this year, my individual record on the team is 3-0.
Working vigorously
upon being elected Student Council President, I have begun a biweekly
publication of student council activities and opinions. Also, the executive
board under my direction has opened the school store for the first time in
nearly a decade. With paint and wood, we turned a janitor's closet into a
fantastic store. I also direct many fund raisers and charity drives. For
instance, I recently organized a charity drive that netted about $1,500 for the
family of Alicia Lehman, a local girl who received a heart transplant.
As Student Liaison to
the South Plainfield Board of Education, I am working to introduce more
advanced-placement courses, more reading of philosophy, and more math and
science electives into the curriculum. At curriculum committee meetings, I have
been effective in making Board members aware of the need for these courses. In
addition, my speeches at public Board meetings often draw widespread support,
which further helps to advance my plans for enhancing the curriculum.
I have also been
effective as a Sunday school teacher. By helping elementary school students
formulate principles and morals, I make a difference in their lives every week.
The value system that I hope to instill in them will last them their entire
lives. I find teaching first-graders about Christ extremely rewarding.
Clearly, I have
devoted my life both to working to better myself and to improving civilization
as a whole. Throughout the rest of my life, I hope to continue in this same
manner of unselfish work. Just as freeholder Crabiel dedicates his life to
public service, I commit my life to helping others and to advancing society's
level of understanding.
WINNING
NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLAR ESSAY
Nothing in
all the world is comparable to reading Ayn Rand beneath New York's skyline or to
studying Nietzsche atop a mountain summit.
Since
childhood, the studies of philosophy and science have interested me profoundly.
Having read many books on relativity, quantum mechanics, existentialism,
religion, capitalism, democracy and post-Aristotelian philosophy, my quest for
knowledge has only intensified. Certainly, the purpose of my life is to discover
a greater understanding of the universe and its people. Specifically, I plan to
better grasp the interrelationship among forces, matter, space, and time. In
addition, I hope to find a unified field theory and a convincing explanation for
the birth of the universe.
During the
summer of tenth grade, I took a number theory course at Johns Hopkins University
with students from Alaska, California, and Bogota, Colombia. My attendance of
the New Jersey Governor's School in the Sciences is another accomplishment that
exemplifies my dedication to knowledge. During the summer following eleventh
grade, I took courses in molecular orbital theory, special relativity, cognitive
psychology, and I participated in an astrophysics research project. For my
independent research project, I used a telescope to find the angular velocity of
Pluto. With the angular velocity determined, I used Einstein's field equations
and Kepler's laws to place an upper bound on the magnitude of the cosmological
constant, which describes the curvature of space and the rate of the universe's
expansion.
In addition
to learning science, I recently lectured physics classes on special relativity
at the request of my physics teacher. After lecturing one class for 45 minutes,
one student bought many books on both general and special relativity to read
during his study hall. Inspiring other students to search for knowledge kindles
my own quest to understand the world and the people around me.
Also, as
president of the National Honor Society, I tutor students with difficulties in
various subject areas. Moreover, I am ranked number one in my class, and I am
the leading member of the Math Team, the Academic Team, and the Model Congress
Team. In the area of leadership, I have recently received the Rotary Youth
Leadership Award from a local rotary club and have been asked to attend the
National Youth Leadership Forum on Law and the Constitution in Washington D.C.
Currently enrolled in Spanish 6,I am a member of both the Spanish Club and the
Spanish Honor Society.
As student
council president, I have begun a biweekly publication of student council
activities and opinions. Also, the executive board under my direction has opened
the school store for the first time in nearly a decade and is finding speakers
to speak at a series of colloquia on topics ranging from physics to politics.
Directing fund raisers and charity drives also consumes much of my time. For
instance, I recently organized a charity drive that netted about $1,500 for the
family of a local girl in need of a heart transplant.
Consistent
with my love of freedom and my belief in democracy, which is best summarized by
Hayek's Road to Serfdom, I have recently initiated an application to become the
liaison to the local board of education. Also, in keeping with my belief that
individuals develop strong principles and ideology, I teach Sunday school three
months a year and have chaperoned for a local Christian school.
Outside pure
academics and leadership roles, I lift weights five times a week for an hour
each day. In addition, I play singles for my school's varsity tennis team.
Because I find extraordinary satisfaction in nature and have dedicated my life
to its understanding, I enjoy mountain climbing. Among the notable peaks I have
reached are Mt. Washington, Mt Jefferson, Mt. Madison, Mt. Marcy and Mt.
Katahdin. Unquestionably, my life's aim is to dramatically raise the height of
the mountain of knowledge so that my successors may have a more accurate view of
the universe around them.
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Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Admissions Essay writing course
The application is a lifeless thing--a few sheets of paper and a few numbers.
The essay is the best way to breathe life into it. - Admissions Officer
Welcome to EssayEdge’s Admissions Essay writing course. After editing tens of thousands of admissions essays for applicants, we created the ultimate course for students seeking an extra edge in the ultra-competitive college and graduate school application process.
The course contains six lessons and over 100 pages of content. Each of the lessons should help you with a different portion of the essay.
Enter the course by clicking a link below or to the left.
Lesson One: Tackling the Question
Question-specific strategies and samples of various types of questions with comments by admissions officers:
EssayEdge Extra: Who's reading my essay?
Selecting a Topic: Do's and don'ts with comments by experienced admissions officers
Word choice: Common pitfalls Transitions: Improving flow Verbs: Active voice vs. Passive voice
Essay
cliches: Top 10 essay cliches
Actual essay gaffes (funny)
Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.
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